Thursday, November 20, 2014

Stages in a "relationship"

<Let's write like how we write in exams>

The stages of a Boy-Girl relationship is as follow:

1. Strangers
2. Acquaintance
3. Mushy Mushy feelings
4. Wait till 12 AM to wish on birthdays, FUCK SLEEP
5. Bored of the same thing and talks
6. Wish on birthdays after you have slept enough
7. Get more bored and one finds someone else more attractive
8. Forget birthdays, intentionally or not
9. Tell everyone you have moved on
10. Bitch about each other
11. Loop (from step 9; Break (Actually strat dating someone else))
12. <repeat>

We are idiots, right?
Time to change?
Even if it is the time, we won't!!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Life Is A Ramp Walk

"Live life like you are on a ramp, walking tall and gracefully because life is not a dress rehearsal, it is your final and best performance"
- Anita Khurrana

Why do you live the way you do?
If you ask this to general people, many would say that they live as per their wishes and liking and wanting to fulfill their own dreams and desires.
But what are the factors which influence your dreams?
Your desires arise from what situations?

The reality is that we live for others, but not intentionally.
The people around us influence our behavior and way of thinking.
We humans, like to be accepted by people.
To be felt like one of their own.
To be made to feel special at times.

The fact remains that we live not for ourselves, but for others.
To bee seen and noticed.
We act as models for the people around us.
And LIFE IS A RAMP WALK.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Food is SEX!

The real differentiating factor between a Foodie and a normal person is that for a Foodie, food is like sex and he might even have orgasms while eating something he likes.
Better to directly get to the point and not waste any more time.

The Erotic V - Eating Chicken Salami and Cheese Sandwich

The Rocking Horse - Eating Cheese Burst Pizza

The Catherine Wheel - Eating Kebabs at Karim's

The Nirvana - Eating Chocolate

The Ascent To Desire - Eating Hyderabadi Chicken Dum Biryani

The Crouching Tiger - Eating Kori Roti

The Dolphin - Eating Gulab Jaamun

The Magic Mountain - Eating Mumbai's famous Vada Pav and Malwan's famous Misal Pav at the same time

The Eagle - Eating Cholle Bature

And finally, if you didn't understand what the first terms meant, you will now!

Doggy Style - Eating Butter Chicken

So yes.
FOOD is SEX for me.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

We Are INDIANS!

A lot is always said about Indians and the pride in the diversity and the biggest democracy of the world, but Indians as one cannot be unified by a single opinion because of the diverse set of cultures existing in India and the people belonging to those cultures living in harmony and ignorance.

Even if it was said earlier that the Indians cannot be united by an opinion which would fit all, there is a thing which can be said and generalized for the entire population of India and would hold true for almost 99% of the Indians.

That point being of "utilizing things we paid money for".

Confused?
Well it is said that examples help us simplify things, so shall we simplify it?

Well I can't hear you, but still I will simplify because MERI MARZEE!!!

Everyone has drank Frooti from the tetra-pack or nowadays Lassi or Buttermilk? Have we?
We Indians believe in drinking till the last sip.
Firstly we will suck the drink via the straw till the "Purrrrr Purrrrr" noises are made.
Then we squeeze the pack, hold it up and tilt our head to the extreme and show everyone that there was A DROP of the drink still inside the pack.
It generally ends there, but if someone would provide us with a scissor then we would not hold back fro cutting the pack and then licking it all up.

So now you understand what I was talking about?
Yes? 
Smart!!

But then there is another case, which all the men and boys who shave would agree with.
Knew that Gillette had come up with a single use blade?
We men and boys used it for more than one time, sadly true.
The blades are meant to be changed after every period of time. The time is determined by the times when the beard is not cleanly shaved. But we Indians have a different definition. The "time" according to us is when we actually bleed as the blades no longer has any sharpness left.

This post was in no way meant to look down upon us, but we are like THIS and why not agree and laugh on yourselves?


And then comes another such occurrence; that is when we eat Ice Cream.
We all follow I Scream You Scream, We All Scream, For Ice Cream; but I don't think anyone believes in licking the tub or cup in which ice cream comes or even the wrapper of the Family Pack.


Might be that we believe in enjoying without considering the surroundings or we just don't want to waste anything we paid money for or might be we are just brought up this way by looking at elder siblings and cousins.

Whatever it is.
Proud to be an Indian!

*goes to eat ice cream and licks the box clean*

Monday, June 2, 2014

And KKR are the IPL 2014 Champions!

IPL is often shadowed by the allegations of match fixing and recently many such allegations have turned true.
So what was the case with IPL 2014?

A tournament with twists and turns in every match.
Mumbai Indians removed Rajasthan Royals out of the tournament.
Chennai Super Kings removed Mumbai Indians out.
Kings XI Punjab knocked out Chennai Super Kings.
Kolkata Knight Riders beat Kings XI Punjab to win the IPL Trophy.

Pretty much like a bollywood film right?

By the time the standing were not known, there was a feeling that Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) would win the title.
Reason would be the change in match venues of the qualifiers, eliminators and the finals.
And the reason?
To allow SRK to watch the match.
Do you feel something fishy?
And that too after SRK being declared as the second richest celebrity in the World.
Now?

All the match venues changed, the venue for finals changed from Wankhade to Bangalore.
And why?
Because SRK was banned from entering Wankhade.

All this might appear to be a mere co-incidence.
But I don't feel that way.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

He She Story

Some stories are written in parts, over the years.
Similar was this one.

<3 years back>
<they both started to like each other, and one day in the middle of something>
She: I love you <3
He: :O
She: What? You would be happy I supposed :|
He: I am. But also confused
She: Confused? Why?
He: I don't know. I just don't want to fall in love maybe.
She: This is not what I planned to listen :|
He: I understand. Just understand.
She: Understand what?
He: For now let's focus on our careers. we can talk on this after a couple of years.
She: Hmmmm :/
He: Sorry!
She: I understand where you are coming from.

<they both interacted for a few months before getting busy with their lives>

<after 3 years of the above conversation>
He: Hi!
She: Do I know you?
He: What?
She: I don't remember people who say "You are getting fatter" :|
He: Hahahaha
She: Don't laugh idiot.
He: Okay :P
She: So?
He: Remember me? I thought you forgot me
She: Why?
He: No message what so ever
She: Hmmmmm
He: Sooo how is life?
She: Going good
<and the conversation continued for quite some time>
He: Let's meet!
She: Okay!
<time and date is fixed>

<on the "date">
<suddenly in between a conversation>
She: I want to tell you something.
He: What?
She: I am actually seeing someone.
He: WHAT? Since?
She: We know each other since October. He proposed just two days back.
<he could not believe how bad his luck was>
He: But we had decided....
She: I know. But it just happened :/
He: I can understand.
She: You can?
He: Yes. I was falling for a girl too but then moved away from her.
She: What?
He: Yep. Because you were always there at the back of my mind.
She: Awwwww. But...
He: Don't worry! I understand. I am happy for you!
She: This is not a reaction I expected.
He: Maybe you don't know me well enough to know my reactions maybe.
She: Are you hurt?
He: A little.
She: Sorry!
He: There is nothing to feel sorry about. Let's finish eating.
<the meal was over>
<on the way back>
She: Do you still want me back?
He: I would have to lie if I said NO. But you shouldn't leave him
She: :O
He: Well maybe this was destiny.
She: I hope you find one for you too, who understands you.
He: Well, maybe!

And with that they parted, promising to be in touch and be friends for their life.
But he knew that it wasn't possible for both to remain in contact.
So THAT was the end of something he though was about to begin. 

Friday, April 25, 2014

The First "Interactions"

First things are often remembered.
Similarly in love.
But the only things talked about is those moments when you hold hands for the first time, the first time you hug each other, the first time you kiss.
But is it the only first thing in "your" story?

There are some moments when you act weird enough than normal, you know it, but then it takes a backseat in the much more glittery moments of the story.

Ever though of the moments when you actually first interacted with the person of your story?

The first glance.
That glance where you just keep staring at someone.
Something you felt inside.
Like the hearts floating around the face of the person.
And just hoping the person looks back at you.
And after some time, a lot of time, of you staring at the person.
The glance the person gives to you.
And you want to shout out and yes that this is love at first sight.
But what you do is smile and turn your eyes.
With staring at the person from the corner of your eyes.

Repeated stares over time.
Then a time when you actually interact in words and not just the smiles and awkward glances.
She keeps talking.
Her words seeming like a melodious poetry.
And what you do? Just nod as she says what she wants.
Those stammering words which come out of your mouth.
Even she knows it all.
And eventually you have something which will make sure you can talk to her all day long,
her telephone number.

You send a message.
Expecting a reply.
An hour goes by.
You wonder whether you are being too sticky.
And whether sending another message would seem too desperate.
Eat, is what you do when you are tensed.
And just then.
Her message.
The name flashes on the screen, saying LOL to the joke you sent her.
You wish to reply saying how much you like her and keep her smiling for all her life.
All those thoughts running in your mind, making you smile like crazy.
And in the end, you end up saying just a Hi.
And that starts a story which will ink the souls of both.

Some day suddenly your phone rings.
The name, yes that name flashing on the screen.
You just don't what to say.
You run away from everybody, in a separate room.
Making sure everything around is perfect, no sound, hands-free for clear hearing and saying, because you know your hands and face is going to sweat.
You do everything in a hurry to not miss the call.
And just when the call is about to be cut by the person, you pick up and say that Hi.
Some weird introductory statements.
And then the story.
YOUR story is about to be written.
Just like how you had thought of and dreamed of.

And those "interactions" are remembered.
Maybe in the back of your mind.
But they are remembered.
Go back in time and think of it.
And smile again.